MMGM: Gilda Joyce: Psychic Investigator

Image result for gilda joyce

OH NOES. Woke up this morning and realized that I COMPLETELY FORGOT to do an MMGM! Alas, it’s one of my New Year’s Resolutions to do an MMGM every week, and I don’t want to quit this early in the year. Anyways! I shall post the link to this in the comments on Shannon’s website, so if you see it from there, THANKS SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING MY LATE LINK. 🙂

Anyways. Onto the review.

Ever since her father died, kooky Gilda Joyce has been working hard to sharpen her psychic skills. She’s determined to communicate with spirits from the Other Side and become a crack investigator of spooky, twisted mysteries. After wrangling an invitation to visit San Francisco relatives, Gilda discovers just how much her dreary, tight-lipped uncle and his strange, delicate daughter need her help to uncover the terrible family secret that has a tortured ghost stalking their home. From poignant to hair-raising and hilarious, this is a behind-the-scenes, tell-all account of the very first case in the illustrious career of Gilda Joyce, Psychic Investigator.

I think there’s five of these books…. Anyways, this is the first one. Gilda is a self-proclaimed “psychic investigator,” who took that title unto herself when her father died. Now, she tries tons of crazy methods to get spirits to talk to her. They sorta do at first, too… except they sorta don’t. That makes sense, right? Anyways Gilda Joyce is an awesome character.

She likes:

  1. her typewriter
  2. her best friend wendy
  3. wearing disguises
  4. wigs
  5. stiletto heels
  6. ouija boards
  7. people watching
  8. creative writing
  9. cat-eye sunglasses

She does not like:

  1. snobbish attitudes
  2. wasting time
  3. cleaning the bathroom
  4. tedious and repetitive homework
  5. people who try to hide the truth

I’m sure you can tell she’s a real interesting person. She frequently consults her Master Psychic’s Handbook, some excerpts from which are:

“For the psychic it is often the unexpected impulse that leads her to people in need of help, clues that solve crimes, and even spirits seeking her attention. Over time, you will recognize your own physical cues: you may have headaches, itches, aches, twitches, or other physical sensations that become your own personal psychic signals.”

—Balthazar Frobenius

Gilda’s psychic signal: An itch in her left ear.

“This writing technique is like being a ventriloquist for the dead. Handwriting can be another means of accessing a voice from beyond! I prefer writing by hand, using a tablet of paper made from a very rare type of tree that has ancient magical properties.”

—Balthazar Frobenius

Gilda’s automatic writing method: Typing on her father’s typewriter.

“Of all the psychic methods I’ve used, the pendulum is perhaps the most efficacious technique for ‘reading’ objects connected with an individual. I’ve found numerous missing persons and also located the bodies of murder victims this way. My pendulum was a gift from my grandmother, who was also a psychic…. Using this object along with a map or photograph, I have been able to detect the location of wrongful deaths.”

—Balthazar Frobenius

Gilda’s pendulum: an enormous Everlasting Gobstopper affixed to a lengthy piece of pink yarn.

I know I haven’t said much about the book itself, but to be fair, it is a mystery. Have a great week!

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